So you want a job in social media? Great.

You obviously have what it takes to represent brands in the social space, right? Oh, and you’re an excellent communicator with fantastic verbal and written skills too aren’t you?

You know how to deal with conflict, handle crises and respond to irate customers publicly without digging a deeper hole and creating more trouble, I assume.

You care about brand awareness, lead generation and organic growth and you know exactly how to engage an online audience, right?

You measure everything and make changes in real-time when the results you are seeking aren’t coming to pass, and you have big ideas. You follow brands, test new social networks and read about interesting campaigns.

You take calculated risks. You read a lot more than Mashable and stay on top of emerging media trends and consumer habits.

You pay attention to the industry, download white papers and depend on your content aggregator for quick updates when you’re pressed for time.

What?

I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you.

You don’t do any of this?

You thought that growing Facebook fans and amassing likes were the requirements for the position?

I see. Thanks for your time.

Have a great afternoon.

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